Sex is Kicking death in the ass while singing -Charles Bukowski
YES I FUCK!. There are many reasons to make you decide to or not to read this article. Now that I have revealed what this one is going to talk about, I am not going to deny the honor of making your own judgments and I am not denying myself the liberty of speaking what my body and mind needs. Mind you, I am going to do it loud and clear for myself and all the women out there who still use the ‘code’ flower for vagina. It’s high time we kill the flower.
I still remember the day I received the ‘talk’, the month I had My first period. When I say the ‘talk’ it did not implicate the education that every girl must be given about the dirty ‘s’ word. Education such as the right and wrong touch or the right to say no or yes. I received anything but that, I was given the wise words of an unwritten axiom. I was told to gift wrap my body and keep it intact and innocent for the man I get married to. I am one hundred percent sure that every sanskar confined Indian women would have received the same counsel growing up. I mean no disrespect to those women who choose to act as they are obliged to. It’s their choice I respect, not the absurd verdict enforced upon the female sexuality that is supposed to be all about giving and receiving pleasure.
Enlighten me, Why is that the women, even in the act of pleasure are asked to furnish honor duty and responsibility. This is no faminazi war, my ‘not all men are asshole’ friends, I tell you!. Unlike men, female sexual desires and needs are hushed up for centuries and not a single wise soul knows what the long lost cause is. No one can explain why estrogen bearers are denied the privilege that the testosterone bearers are given without a flinch. Now, you might expect me to put up an obsolete defense of being raised up by a conservative Hindu family. What if I say otherwise. I belong to a perfectly educated,not so conservative family and yet, you can find my 45 year old mother shushing me when I mention words like period and vagina in the presence of my 17 year old brother. This is a classic example where women are not only mortified for being loud about their desires but also, the entire concept of female sexuality is stigmatized as a taboo and a sinister act.
When my curiosity and hormones started kicking in I fed myself with the necessary information I wanted about the subject from the only source that gives all right and wrong equally, the internet. I read and I talked to people. Surprisingly the ‘younger’ generation are no better. As I mention the jinxed words, the immediate reaction I received were giggling and change of topic. This is how we are molded to feel uncomfortable with our body and its simple needs. What happens when a girl wants to place her toe out of the sensitive line. Either she will have all her thoughts vanquished just because everyone does or moves ahead to get slut-shamed. Consider this article as one such slut’s rant. In this post I want to put forward some of the common sexual myths and taboos which, every woman would have come across while growing up.
The olive test
How virginal are the olives, you will probably never know and no ever bothers to find that out. Then why are women are subjected to this ridiculous concept of virginity. The foremost golden rule written for a proper lady ‘A women must remain a virgin and pure till she gets married while a man can have sex as many times as he likes’. No you can’t contradict this statement because when two people are brought together in matrimony, only the girl is asked for her virginity status. As far as I know, no man has ever been asked for a purity check. What I don’t understand is , how a biological condition of a woman’s one fragile membrane decides her character. When I try to find an answer to this idiocracy I get labeled as immoral, uncultured, anti-religion, anti-national and a terrorist. All thanks to Ramayana and Devi Sita the ‘first age feminist’ who grounded the rule in every strong way possible. When questioned about your chastity, jump into fire and term that as righteousness and love. No wonder people have bad misconceptions about feminism. What about the ‘civilized’ new age society we live in. Civilized indeed, “we are very modern you see.” We say this often, and yet I have seen aunties checking for blood in sheets after the bride’s wedding night. Thank heavens, for the twisted brains of our women or we still would be jumping fires. A woman can never be pure enough for this male chauvinistic society and I can vouch for it. So I decided to disappoint the society rather than disappoint myself
Angel or demon
I once had an argument with a friend, that started from a very normal statement from a very normal conversation that goes like “dude! you are one horny bitch”(Normal indeed). We ended up debating whether will I or will I not have sex with someone as hot as, say Ranveer Singh. Given ‘that’ choice I say I would not even blink an eye to do all the holy deed want. We anyway concluded by hoping that Ranveer Singh doesn’t come to know about the conversation(we don’t want out sex icon dead, do we!). I actually wasn’t surprised to find my friend surprised. The concept of casual sex has always been first, a deeply misunderstood myth and a stupid taboo. Let me put this truth or fact, whatever you want to call it, straight. Once and for all. It is not necessary for you to be unconditionally and irrevocably in love with someone to get yourself wet.(yes, suck it up!). All you need is some carnal attraction and protection. When I tried to explain this to my surprised friend. She asked me a very simple yet an effective question. “You talk a great deal about self-respect and dignity, don’t you think having sex with someone you are not in love means degrading yourself?” A question valid enough to answer every ignorant mind. Yes, I regard self-respect very dear to me and I am a proud of it. Yes, I take every walk in my life with dignity and choose not to lose it no matter what. But what is self respect to your eyes? Does depriving yourself from sex just because the love of your life hasn’t found you yet means ‘self-respect’ to you(Again, all thanks to Ramayana). If so my friend,you seldom have learned the true meaning of self respect. When you don’t learn to respect your own body and it’s needs, When you don’t respect your own desire, You have no respect for yourself. And what use do you have for dignity inside a confined room between two naked people who have everything out and open for each others eyes. If you still want to bring it in, it’s called regret not dignity. So, the next time if you get lucky enough to be put in bed with someone as hot as Ranveer Singh, fuck the angel and unleash the demon.
-continued
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Khalo 